So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
