Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
