I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
