sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
