I need help removing her.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
