you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
