If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize