everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
