So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
well you can't waste a boner
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
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when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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