Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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