she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
