She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
