This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
