dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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