A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Vodka?
Forever.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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