Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
