I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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