my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
