whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
