I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
