Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
