just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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