thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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