just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
