i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
