Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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