is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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