You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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