this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I party with great urgency now.
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