new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize