yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
