the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
its not stalking. its research.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
