i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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