I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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