And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You need Xanax blowdarts
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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