HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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