Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
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She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
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i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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