We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We have started to decorate penises.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
