i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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