So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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