Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
