Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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