is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
