Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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