Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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