Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
