yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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