just come out here and I will go home with you...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
