wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
