I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
