I cockslap morals
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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