I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
