my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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