I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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