dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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